1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Active. 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:03,960 It's me. 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,880 One second. 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,760 I don't know how I can make this more clear. It's half coffee, half good 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,300 evening. I'm Vic Michaelis. 6 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:15,960 Nope. Good evening. Nope. 7 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,640 Well, if you're going to speak to me like that, we're not related anymore. 8 00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:23,340 Yeah, absolutely. 9 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:24,680 No, fuck off yourself. 10 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:41,560 I don't know. That looked really good. You guys did a really good job. 11 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,700 Sorry. And things are going to be great. 12 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,180 That was such a sweet intro. 13 00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,440 I really appreciate that. Thank you. 14 00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:54,860 Hey, Dan, how are you feeling? I'm feeling good. 15 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,140 Good. 16 00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,850 I can't. I literally was like, I'm a dog. 17 00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:05,370 I literally was like, I'm a puppy, and they're putting tattoos on me. I'm a bad 18 00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:12,230 dog. If you believe, if you believe, you can follow your 19 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,830 dreams. That is fucking crazy. 20 00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:16,110 Okay, 21 00:01:17,050 --> 00:01:22,970 great. Do we want the accent? Does that feel crazy to you? I love it. We like 22 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:24,930 it. Does everyone feel okay about that? 23 00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:26,150 Oh, no. 24 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,020 That's all right. Kind of cool. 25 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,800 This outfit actually looks pretty spectacular on you. 26 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,200 Thanks. 27 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,458 This is mine. 28 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,040 Yeah, I assumed this outfit was yours. Everything you see. 29 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,240 Yeah, well, your nails are on your nails, so I would assume that your nails 30 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,300 yours as well. 31 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:44,780 Why are we doing this? 32 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,400 What did you say? 33 00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:49,000 I can't do it without doing your accent, and that feels maybe offensive. 34 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:50,860 Try. 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,160 It was really good. Do you think? Do you want me to do? 36 00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:00,300 If you've got it in you, if you don't mind. 37 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:01,740 You getting this? 38 00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:05,840 You getting this? Okay. I'll just do a small snippet. 39 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,900 Every day when I wake up, grateful for the world. 40 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:15,220 Every day when I wake up, I'm a girl. 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:21,900 And every day when I wake up, I'm serving cunt. And every day when I wake 42 00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:23,400 Can't say that. What the fuck? 43 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,380 I don't think they can say any of that. The money feels nice. It does feel 44 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,380 really good. Can I have half back? 45 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,040 Yeah. That's not half. 46 00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,840 What are you gaining from this? 47 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:35,640 One at a time. 48 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,440 What's going on? 49 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,640 I don't want it. That's what I was just saying. That's what you're doing. 50 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,600 Do you ever go to strip clubs? 51 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,960 Me? Yeah. Love them. Oh, that's shocking. 52 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:51,760 They play sometimes my music, my old music from Maroon 5 at strip clubs. Is 53 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,760 true? Mm -hmm. 54 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,000 What if you did the worm? Can you do that? Yeah. Go. Okay. 55 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,019 Here we go. 56 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:02,978 Here we go. 57 00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:03,978 Here we go. 58 00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:08,580 Here we go. And we're down on the ground. And we're down on the ground. 59 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:09,580 inch up. 60 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:11,520 And then we crawl out. 61 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,480 And then we inch up. 62 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,880 And then we sort of crawl out like a worm. 63 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,140 It's out. This feels so nice. 64 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,360 You're making me uncomfortable. 65 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:21,638 Okay, sorry. 66 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:22,638 Your turn. 67 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,340 Okay. Oh, it's wet from when I spilled my drink. 68 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,600 I think I can try to do the worm. Try. 69 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:32,460 Oh, God, that's hard. 70 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:33,920 Come in. 71 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,540 There. Okay, wow. That's actually better than I was expecting. 72 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:38,698 That's okay. 73 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,200 You called us the schlong. 74 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,580 Every day is a new day. 75 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,740 It's a party every day. 76 00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:59,620 People say, get out of my way. I said, no. 77 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:05,160 The sun is shining. The babies are crying. And that's right. 78 00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:06,560 We're in America. 79 00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,920 Oh, hey, hey. How's it going? 80 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,240 Oh, what's good? 81 00:04:13,869 --> 00:04:16,430 See, my mouth move is weird as well. 82 00:04:16,649 --> 00:04:21,709 Like, it shouldn't be like that, but it is. I'm a little nervous because, you 83 00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:26,690 know, I'm the first real alien. Every alien footage you've seen before, 84 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,430 fake. Thank 85 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:34,270 you. 86 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:44,720 I'm so sorry, Denzel. I was told you were here to sort of promote a new 87 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:49,160 character. Oh, yeah. I used this alien technique where I told you I was going 88 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,500 do something and did the opposite so that I could come on your show. Lied. 89 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,500 lied. What? 90 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,160 Yeah. 91 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,240 Denzel, what is this? 92 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,820 That is my son. 93 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,320 This is your son? 94 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,740 Yeah, so every time you're being mean to me, just know you're being mean to a 95 00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:04,740 father. 96 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:08,690 Every time you were mean to me, you were mean to me and my son. Denzel, I have 97 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:12,330 so many follow -up questions here. Oh, do you have this? Do you have this? 98 00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:16,310 Where sometimes, you know, you hang out. If you watch a few movies, you wander 99 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:17,310 in the streets. 100 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:22,370 Then you see someone come out of a Menchie's. They're kind of cute. You 101 00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:25,230 talk to them. You gas them up. You go hang out. 102 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:29,650 You go to the local Chili's. You share a drink. You go back to her place. 103 00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:30,970 Do you know what that's like? 104 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,550 Yeah, that's how I created my son. 105 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,520 Wait, that's how you created your son? 106 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:37,480 Yeah, yeah. I have sex with people and puke into a jar, and this is what it 107 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,119 turns into. 108 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,280 You wake up 50 years from now. 109 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,040 You've repopulated the earth. 110 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,600 Uh -huh. You wake up in the morning. What's the first thing that happened 111 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,280 this new superior technology? 112 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,960 I mean, this little buddy's probably a mayor or something. He probably fixes 113 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:51,960 traffic. 114 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,380 Honestly, that does sound like that might be better. 115 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:05,320 It's hard out here, you know, a gleeful alien trying to date. Like, I was on the 116 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:11,280 application, the dating application, when they showed up to the date vastly 117 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,280 different than the photos presented. 118 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:18,820 Like, what's going on there? Bring the picture. I'll take the picture on a 119 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,860 How will I ever wipe my butt again? 120 00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:28,910 There's just a monster behind the curtain. Are you ready? 121 00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,210 I'm ready. 122 00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:31,410 My name could be bad. 123 00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,430 I've met a couple bad. 124 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:34,650 Do we have a cigarette? 125 00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:36,130 Do we? 126 00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,070 Yeah, we could figure it out. 127 00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,290 Oh, we could figure it out. Okay, good. 128 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,070 Oh, I have something in my pocket. 129 00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:45,550 Candy. 130 00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:48,050 You want a candy, girl? 131 00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:50,650 I'll trade you a cigarette for candy. Of course. Thank you. 132 00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:52,690 Look, I have blue freckles, too. 133 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:56,250 Do you know what you're going to look like when you're old? You look fucking 134 00:06:56,250 --> 00:07:00,190 fantastic. Honestly, I look so much better than I felt like I was going to 135 00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:05,270 Do I need a reason to be important? We can either talk about it right now or, 136 00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:09,010 like, we spend the first, like, five to ten minutes workshopping. Yeah, I'd love 137 00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,910 to just, like, play with Vic and then we'll find something. And you guys 138 00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:15,810 work together. Yeah, yeah. Is there a way we can do with Vic, like, say that, 139 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:18,410 like, I want to be there now? Yeah, totally. 140 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,730 That's great. 141 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,330 Please introduce yourself. 142 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,490 Why are you causing such a situation? 143 00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,190 These are just puns at this point. 144 00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:29,010 Do three more. 145 00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:33,690 If you want to do this, do three more. Do three more puns and they need to come 146 00:07:33,690 --> 00:07:34,609 up organically. 147 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,610 Jen. 148 00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,310 What is that one? 149 00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:39,910 Is there a girl named Jen? Yeah. 150 00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:41,590 Jen. How was that pun? 151 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,070 Jen. 152 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:50,310 Jen, it's not a pun, but I will let you have it if you do two more organic puns. 153 00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,090 Are you sure? 154 00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:57,690 Is that because of Jersey Shore? 155 00:07:58,750 --> 00:07:59,750 Okay. 156 00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:01,510 One more. 157 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:06,790 Ron. 158 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:12,170 And then you go to the shore. And then you, what? 159 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:13,910 What are you doing today? 160 00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:17,470 Smartass? I wake up, I go to work, I go to sleep. You're not going to say, and 161 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:18,470 then what? 162 00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:19,770 That's my job. 163 00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:21,870 I'm interviewing you. That's your job? 164 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,790 To say, and then what? My job is to interview you. 165 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,790 I'm interviewing you right now. We're recording it, and then this is going out 166 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,010 to people. People are going to find this, like, probably relatable. 167 00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:36,610 People are going to write in and be like, oh, my grandpa's ex -wife, who was 168 00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:40,150 grandmother at one point, who I call Nana, sort of spanked me one time when I 169 00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:43,289 was an adult and then couldn't come up with three Jersey Shore puns. 170 00:08:46,469 --> 00:08:48,470 Do you want to see something funny? I would like to. 171 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,850 Like when I was seven. 172 00:09:08,370 --> 00:09:10,070 Stop. I'm not going to do it. 173 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:14,170 I'm leaving today. This is all you. I'm not going. 174 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,700 Grab that side. Come on, take it. 175 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,240 I'll get you. 176 00:09:46,939 --> 00:09:48,240 And then it goes on. 177 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,040 That was fun. 178 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,000 Thank you. Thank you. Okay. 179 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:54,940 Nana. 180 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,780 I'm going in three, two, one. Nana. 181 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,260 I can't. That's physiology. 182 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:05,760 Nana. 183 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,320 Don't. Don't. You can play that game. 184 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,380 We can't give our feet away for free. 185 00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:14,860 Don't, don't. Stop. 186 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,280 Stop. Catch me if you can. 187 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,520 I can very easily. You're slow. 188 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,320 Psych. Do you like it? Psych. 189 00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:23,880 Psych. Psych. 190 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,460 Tamiya, where are you at? Where do you feel like you're at in the process? 191 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,280 Oh, the beginning. 192 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,620 Very early. 193 00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:35,100 Do you have a cap on? 194 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,240 No. You have a cap on? That's a clue. 195 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,340 Yeah, things are happening over here. 196 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,519 Something's happened. 197 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,360 This is a lot. This is like, I did a first look for my wedding and it wasn't 198 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,360 this stressful. 199 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,140 The point is, this is not a show at all. It's just a forced wedding. 200 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,360 Damn, dude. 201 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,980 I don't have my vows ready. 202 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,580 What is our money to your money here? 203 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,120 Has it grown? 204 00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:04,180 Has it diminished? 205 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,200 Either way, we've got enough of whatever it is to compare to whatever you've 206 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,020 got. Hi, we'll be showing you the open house. We're really excited. 207 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,040 If you could please put on these booties. 208 00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:14,800 I am not human. 209 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,760 Hello! I'm not human. 210 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,620 We are not human. 211 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,100 Not human. 212 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,479 Not human. 213 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,480 Not human. 214 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,040 We never were human. 215 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,940 You used to be porcelain, correct? 216 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,820 Yes. How are you adjusting to skin? 217 00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:36,640 There are so many feelings that I did not know you could have. 218 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:39,980 That's right. We spent a lot of time just touching each other. 219 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,460 Touching each other? 220 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,660 Just to feel something. 221 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,800 I see. 222 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,800 What kind of dolls were you, if you don't mind me asking? 223 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:51,330 What do you mean? So you have porcelain dolls, but you know how sometimes 224 00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:55,870 there's the dancer doll and there's the, there's a musician doll. 225 00:11:56,850 --> 00:12:01,590 You are saying that here you put your dolls into a box, you type the dolls so 226 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,750 they do not have a multifaceted personality. 227 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,830 They are just a one thing at a time. If a doll was during the tango, what would 228 00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:11,150 you say that that doll is outside of a dancing doll? We would have to talk to 229 00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:12,350 them and see their personality. 230 00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:15,030 Say what's your, what's your into? How do you fuck? 231 00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:16,790 I'm sorry? 232 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,290 How do you fuck? 233 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:24,910 MSNBC, we know somebody with a tiny guillotine. But if we put that tiny 234 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:28,650 guillotine in a house at midnight and lightning strikes the top of it and it 235 00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:32,870 says, I want to be human, it will turn big and we will use exactly that 236 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:37,750 guillotine to cut every single MSNBC person's head off of their body. I think 237 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:42,190 that the logic is closer. The darkness inside me is two. 238 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,050 It is me. 239 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,140 And it is you. 240 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:52,000 But how far have we drifted from each other? Beautiful. With each breath, the 241 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,120 lungs grow close. 242 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,040 And we grow far. 243 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:57,619 Don't cut. 244 00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,000 He's not done. The carbon. 245 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:01,260 Is that her? 246 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,460 It is her. 247 00:13:15,869 --> 00:13:17,290 Now, this is hard. Oh, okay. 248 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,090 Oh, okay. 249 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,250 All right. 250 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,010 Thank you. 251 00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:29,850 Thank you so much. 252 00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:31,710 Bonjour. Bonjour. 253 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,310 Hello. Thank you for meeting us here. We hope this is not inconvenient. 254 00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:38,110 Yes, we are needing... of your help. 255 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:39,430 What are you looking for here? 256 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,470 Her. She is the one that created us. 257 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,250 Please help. Because we are dolls. 258 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,429 Please help. 259 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,710 Please help us dolls find our creator. 260 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:49,850 We need to... Hi, hello. We are dolls. We need to find our creator. 261 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:54,610 Hi, hello. The dolls that are us are looking for their creator. Which is 262 00:13:55,390 --> 00:13:56,550 Do you know? 263 00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,390 Do you know? Do you know? Please help. Please help. Please. Send a pigeon. 264 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,410 Send a... Send a pigeon. 265 00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:07,150 Oh, I come through here. 266 00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:08,970 Now? 267 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:12,690 Yeah, you got it. I felt kidnapped. 268 00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,070 Oh, boy. 269 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,190 I'm Tom Hanks in high school. 270 00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,730 I don't know that. Wow. 271 00:14:21,470 --> 00:14:23,610 Are those children's boots? 272 00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:28,130 Like children's Madewells? Just like little bootsies. 273 00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:33,820 Wow. 274 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,160 Yeah, 275 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,950 and it's really... Weird. Well, you scare the children. Well, I do want to, 276 00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,710 know, it's like, hey, do you want a photo op? And they're all like, ah! 277 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,090 Yeah. Doesn't seem appropriate. 278 00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:11,530 It is weird. Here we are in French Polynesia. 279 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:15,290 We actually went to wait. We did date briefly. 280 00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:20,150 We did date briefly. That was a big tabloid moment. Well, we don't bring 281 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:21,150 up, do we? 282 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:22,349 You didn't ask? 283 00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:23,590 Okay. Well, we did. 284 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,870 It's like I don't know what I'm trying. 285 00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:40,390 So I'm on Thrinder, and no one's... 286 00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:50,130 Sometimes 287 00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:54,290 we have bloopers, so I can't even get through my Thrinder joke. 288 00:15:56,770 --> 00:16:03,190 Hello, I am back. I was looking at the monitor of myself, which I shouldn't 289 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,850 at. Anything else you want to say? 290 00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:07,650 Let's have fun. 291 00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,230 That was great. 292 00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:11,170 Come on, team. 293 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:15,070 I have kind of a guess, but... What's your guess? 294 00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:20,470 I feel like I'm some kind of creature. 295 00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:23,410 Okay. I don't feel like I'm a human. 296 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:25,550 Okay. My guess is like... 297 00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:30,950 Like some kind of bear or like a big animal. 298 00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:32,650 I'm Kevin Shilpin. 299 00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:39,210 Something just like very like Midwestern normal. I used 300 00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:42,170 to look completely different. 301 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,370 Who? 302 00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:47,150 Tommy Shrigley? 303 00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:49,490 Tommy Shrigley. That's really good. 304 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:51,890 Holy shit. Do I look better? 305 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:53,470 You look like shit. 306 00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,330 You got a bunch of shit on you. 307 00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,540 Sometimes you find $100 ,000. 308 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,620 Have you found $100 ,000 more than once? 309 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,359 Yeah. How many times? 310 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:05,519 Six times. 311 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,460 You found $100 ,000 six times? Yeah. One of them was mine. 312 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,440 Okay, I'm sorry. 313 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,700 Five of those times, that $100 ,000 that you found was yours. 314 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:20,079 Well, as always, I guess one of the times I dropped it and then found it 315 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,880 I see. So one time you dropped it and found it again. What about the other 316 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:24,880 times? Random. 317 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,359 Random? Random. 318 00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:29,410 It was once in the park. Once in the same park. 319 00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:32,550 Once was, I guess, at the other end of the park. 320 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,370 And then, I guess they were all at the park. 321 00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:40,870 Man, so you are just one lucky guy, I guess. 322 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:45,990 That's the power of positivity. That's the power of believing in yourself. 323 00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:47,210 I can't say ass. 324 00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,750 Fuck. What? 325 00:17:49,990 --> 00:17:51,710 Hold on. Is this live? 326 00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:53,409 Stop it. 327 00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:54,409 Turn it off. 328 00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:55,410 Turn it off. 329 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:56,590 We're going again. 330 00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:57,830 I don't fucking care. 331 00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:00,810 Is your head up your ass? 332 00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:09,030 I am very interested in seeing how they're going to handle my hair and 333 00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:12,910 beard and if that will play a part in it. I mean, I guess you could make a 334 00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:17,430 cap out of this. It would, I guess, raise my forehead by like two inches. 335 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:21,630 it's possible. When I'm going outside, am I only using Uber Eats these days? 336 00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:26,010 It's a question I have. I feel like I could wander around as is, though. 337 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:30,610 I don't think anyone would be too upset to see someone like this. Everyone looks 338 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,930 at me and they think you've gone too far, but I think I have not gone far 339 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:34,930 enough. 340 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,160 When I was working at a box office, I scrolled through names and I found 341 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,380 somebody named Avery Goodman. And I was like, a very good man is what your name 342 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,200 is? I don't know what that is. 343 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:52,580 And that's why I ran for government. And, you know, it seems to be quite 344 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:58,620 a landslide victory of 90%, maybe 98, 99. I wasn't counting fully after the 345 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,620 Yeah, and that mass casualty event in the city, which wiped out a large 346 00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:06,690 of... It seems like voters that didn't vote for you, correct? Yeah, and, you 347 00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:09,570 know, that is just, well, that's one of the things that I want to fix. 348 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:14,530 Obviously, the fact that the water system was so vulnerable to poison. 349 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:17,670 Absolutely. And the fact that you're paying such close attention really shows 350 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:21,890 that you deserve to be in government. I mean that. I voted for you. Oh, I'm glad 351 00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:24,810 that you did. I voted twice for you. Oh, you better have, because I would have 352 00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,750 been very upset otherwise. Oh, would you have? 353 00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:29,050 What would you have done? 354 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:32,530 We're just playful here, aren't we? Just like old friends, you know? 355 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,040 Fun. I love him. 356 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:37,960 I'm so sorry. This never happens. I'm very professional. Oh, I know. And 357 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:42,040 that's why I love this show. That sort of professionalism and the ability to 358 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:48,460 speak to a large audience of very many people in this specific city and get 359 00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:52,280 to listen to you. That is the things I love. I'm just blacking out for minutes 360 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,500 at a time. And then I wake up and I'm like, how did I get here? I'm like, how 361 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,500 did I get here? 362 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,140 I feel that sometimes. But usually it's just a short circuit. 363 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:04,469 Action. 364 00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:09,070 Hi. How are you? I'm good. Good to meet you. I'm terrified. 365 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,330 I'm Bruce. I'm Oscar. 366 00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:11,590 How are you? 367 00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,130 There's a person on each of my eyebrows. 368 00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:16,330 Are you serious? 369 00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:18,990 Yeah, that is not a sensation I've ever had before. 370 00:20:19,190 --> 00:20:23,490 No. We're the brothers who are going to teach you how to dance. 371 00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,850 I have two more words for you. Is that all right? Two. 372 00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:30,930 Squeegee. Huh? 373 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,560 Squeegee? Huh? That's the word. Oh, I see. 374 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,440 Orgasm. Huh? 375 00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:37,360 That one also, huh? 376 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,800 Huh? Is that the answer? 377 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,440 Huh? I feel like you two have really opened my mind. 378 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,460 We're talking about the mattress. 379 00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,400 Casper mattress. And were you also talking about Casper mattress? 380 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:49,960 Oh, so comfortable. 381 00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:54,180 Okay, so well, not on this show. We are actually sponsored by... 382 00:20:55,389 --> 00:20:57,190 You can't think of another mattress. 383 00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:58,410 Yes, I can. 384 00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:03,350 On this show, we are sponsored by Good Feeling Mattress. 385 00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:06,990 They haven't paid us yet to come up with that. It's not fake. 386 00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:11,170 Let's see. Let's see the logo. Well, the logo's not ready. 387 00:21:11,410 --> 00:21:12,410 It's not ready. 388 00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:14,490 What's the jingle? 389 00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:20,770 Good Feeling Mattress. And you can't use that because actually it's copyrighted. 390 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:21,890 You're never going to get your money. 391 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:23,880 We have a game for you. 392 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,800 We're going to say a word and you tell us what that makes you think of. Here we 393 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,800 go. You. 394 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,840 Interviewer. 395 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,220 I really have more words for you. We have more words for you. 396 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:40,880 Stepdaughter. 397 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,300 Fine. 398 00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:48,420 Fascinating. Your wedding night. 399 00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:49,780 Boring. 400 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,010 Sex. 401 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:56,590 Boring. Have you been touching every time? 402 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,190 Boring. 403 00:21:58,430 --> 00:22:00,550 Have you been feeling at all? 404 00:22:01,090 --> 00:22:03,970 I have been feeling. That's your problem. Boring. 405 00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:05,870 That's the problem. 406 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:07,370 Oh, here's a word. 407 00:22:07,890 --> 00:22:08,890 Excitement. 408 00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:10,450 Coffee. 409 00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:14,730 Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Let's talk about coffee. Coffee, yes. 410 00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:17,030 Really, I should be the one doing the interviewing. 411 00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:18,490 Smell it. 412 00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,090 Okay. Just. 413 00:22:20,410 --> 00:22:24,210 Hey, smell, smell, smell. 414 00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:30,870 Tell me how you feel when you smell the coffee. Tell me how you feel when you 415 00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:33,010 smell the coffee. Fun. 416 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,340 I feel fun. All right, please take your seats. All right, I feel fun. 417 00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:43,760 Let's throw your stepdaughter to the ocean, huh? I can't wait. 418 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,780 She's a nightmare, but people think she's nice, so I have to be quiet. 419 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,940 Actually, on my way to... 420 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:07,120 audition to be a background character at the Little Mermaid ride and Disney 421 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:11,760 World as well, you know, because they'll move on. 422 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:13,740 I love that. 423 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,600 They serve a lot of fish. I think that's messed up. 424 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,220 And when did Dylan go to jail, if you don't mind me asking? I'm not allowed to 425 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,500 say. I feel like that would be public record, would it not? 426 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,720 Not in this jail. 427 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:25,960 Do you know what jail he's in? 428 00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:30,960 No. Lynn, I hate to be the one to tell you this. I think he... 429 00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:32,260 Might have ghosted you. 430 00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:37,240 What do you mean? He said he's in jail, but he's not allowed to tell you what 431 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,460 jail it is. And he's not allowed to tell you when he went. And actually, you 432 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,460 can't contact him anymore. 433 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,120 Yeah, but no, mine is real. Look it up. I mean, I don't know how many men are 434 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:49,040 telling you that they went to jail. So many. Yeah, a lot. 435 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:52,940 More than I can count. I think they're doing to you what you're saying they're 436 00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:55,820 doing to me. But they're actually doing it to you. I'm actually happily married 437 00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:57,720 now with a stepdaughter. 438 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,780 Okay. I don't take liquids. 439 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,220 You don't take liquids at all? I don't do liquids. How do you get water? 440 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,040 We have a natural store of liquid. 441 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,740 So you don't have to put in more? 442 00:24:12,940 --> 00:24:15,680 You were born with all the liquids you need for the rest of your life? Yeah. 443 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,220 You're a doctor. You should know that. I'm not a doctor. 444 00:24:18,420 --> 00:24:19,420 You look like one. I'm a reporter. 445 00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:21,820 You go to Starbucks with bad grandpa. 446 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,480 I ate all their cake pops. 447 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,620 You ate all of their cake pops? And after a certain amount. 448 00:24:27,419 --> 00:24:30,260 They are not digestible. You reach the limit. 449 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:35,020 Sort of like some people that eat too much vitamin C or something like that. 450 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,520 Yeah. Okay. How old is your husband? 451 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:41,620 He's in his 40s. Younger than you. Have you worn makeup before? 452 00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:45,700 Well, I'm wearing makeup right now, actually. It's sort of why my... Other 453 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,660 you know, me putting it on you. 454 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:53,360 No, I mean, you're putting makeup on top of a little bit of makeup. Shout out to 455 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,940 my team. You have makeup on underneath. 456 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,520 Right now? Yeah. A little bit. 457 00:24:58,940 --> 00:24:59,940 Really? 458 00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:03,720 Yeah, I was in the chair for 45 minutes. 459 00:25:10,580 --> 00:25:17,420 I don't not look like my 460 00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:19,940 uncle. Hey, stop running. 461 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:24,040 I shot the entire thing on IMAX film. 462 00:25:24,590 --> 00:25:25,890 And they cut the whole thing. 463 00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:27,890 They cut the whole thing. 464 00:25:28,810 --> 00:25:29,810 You what? 465 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:37,890 Someone came and walked with me and they said that they were an emperor. 466 00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:39,310 Right. 467 00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:42,710 Anyway, I'm sorry about my mom. 468 00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:48,110 She was the kind of mom who would put an apple in your mouth and put you in the 469 00:25:48,110 --> 00:25:49,110 oven. 470 00:25:50,610 --> 00:25:51,850 So you're saying your mom would... 471 00:25:52,190 --> 00:25:53,230 Put an apple in an apple. 472 00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:55,110 Are we keeping that? 473 00:25:55,650 --> 00:25:56,650 Keep that. 474 00:25:57,330 --> 00:26:00,830 And how many people are there right now that want to join you? It's a lot. 475 00:26:01,130 --> 00:26:02,690 It's a lot. Ballpark number? 476 00:26:03,030 --> 00:26:05,030 Four. Okay. Say it with me. 477 00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:07,810 Billie Eilish. 478 00:26:09,070 --> 00:26:10,890 That got further away. Can we do that one more time? 479 00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:13,790 It's our house destroyed. Yeah. Brick house destroyed. No. 480 00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:19,690 It's okay. You're here to interview me. 481 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,460 The straw house was destroyed. 482 00:26:21,740 --> 00:26:25,580 The stick house was destroyed. My mom was squished. 483 00:26:27,220 --> 00:26:28,220 What? Hi. 484 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,320 Oh, my God. 485 00:26:29,700 --> 00:26:33,380 Hi. Do you want to say, is this too much? We just let the dog go? Oh. 486 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,380 Hello. Okay. 487 00:26:35,820 --> 00:26:37,000 Hi. Over here. 488 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,800 Good evening. 489 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:41,140 You're not going to get your day ring unless you come on set. 490 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,240 Is the dog eating your finger? Yes. 491 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,240 Do you want to? I love it. You do? 492 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,540 Yeah. Okay. 493 00:26:47,429 --> 00:26:48,550 Problem solved. Look at that. 494 00:26:49,110 --> 00:26:51,030 You have a big chunk of your finger gone. 495 00:26:52,030 --> 00:26:52,929 It's fine. 496 00:26:52,930 --> 00:26:53,749 Yeah, okay. 497 00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:57,590 So it sounds like a fairytale ending for you, your sisters, and Garbage Dog. 498 00:27:01,130 --> 00:27:02,130 I will. 499 00:27:02,170 --> 00:27:03,170 My Uber's here. 500 00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:05,510 Okay, well, have fun walking. 501 00:27:09,219 --> 00:27:11,120 Your eyes are uncanny. Okay. 502 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,160 I do not want to see you wielding a ruler. 503 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,460 Really excited to do, like, The Haunted House. Last year we did The Incredibles, 504 00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:19,000 and the kids didn't like it as much. 505 00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:24,060 It's the Elizabeth Holmes through the boys. We will be able to test your 506 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:28,280 Your blood with a single drop of a theranos machine. I mean, we brought 507 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,200 people into our booth constantly. People asking questions. 508 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,000 What are you doing here? 509 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,960 Aren't you ashamed of yourself? 510 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,440 Stay away from my son. 511 00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:38,860 Stay away from my son? 512 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,480 Why would they be saying that? 513 00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:44,080 Of course, because I just maybe slipped them some literature. 514 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:45,480 What kind of literature? 515 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,060 You know, the sort of books that any child should be exposed to. Does it 516 00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:50,080 to be the book that you're writing? 517 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,620 We can go ahead and take a look there. 518 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:56,730 Yes. Darkness visible, freeing the darkness within that the light tries to 519 00:27:57,090 --> 00:28:00,150 Darkness visible. Colon, freeing the darkness inside that the light tries to 520 00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:01,150 hide. 521 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:05,070 He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Well, that's 522 00:28:05,070 --> 00:28:06,830 similar. He knows if you've been bad or good. 523 00:28:07,630 --> 00:28:09,290 So be bad for badness' sake. 524 00:28:09,510 --> 00:28:12,210 Okay, so that is where we deviate a little bit. That's where it sort of 525 00:28:12,210 --> 00:28:16,330 off. Can I ask, so we have for Christmas and you have, we have St. Nick, you 526 00:28:16,330 --> 00:28:17,410 have Krampus. 527 00:28:17,630 --> 00:28:20,910 What about Valentine's Day? What does Valentine's Day look like? You know 528 00:28:20,910 --> 00:28:21,869 couples who... 529 00:28:21,870 --> 00:28:23,490 Kind of look like each other. Sure. 530 00:28:23,930 --> 00:28:28,170 Kind of doubling down on that and how uncomfortable that makes the rest of the 531 00:28:28,170 --> 00:28:29,510 world. I like that, actually. 532 00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:30,710 I think that's fun. 533 00:28:30,870 --> 00:28:35,190 Fins to the left, fins to the right, wasted away again in Margaritaville. 534 00:28:35,450 --> 00:28:41,150 Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, changes is the only constant. 535 00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,470 These are the lessons of Jimmy Buffett. 536 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:44,920 all is change. 537 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:50,340 Step up into Buffett's realm and you will learn that only you may change your 538 00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:56,040 attitude and latitude with the guidance of dark forces if you choose to call 539 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:56,919 upon them. 540 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,000 Hail Buffett! 541 00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:00,080 Hail Buffett! 542 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,780 Buffett's sort of a demigod in your... He has been added to the pantheon when 543 00:29:04,780 --> 00:29:07,280 all kicked out of heaven. 544 00:29:08,230 --> 00:29:11,530 Kicked out of heaven. That was incredible. Now, that was great. Yeah. 545 00:29:11,530 --> 00:29:12,530 does this power extend? 546 00:29:12,630 --> 00:29:14,470 Why, around the world, of course. 547 00:29:15,490 --> 00:29:16,490 Wow. 548 00:29:17,250 --> 00:29:22,950 Now I want to hear all my second grader doing that terrible twos. Let me get a 549 00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:25,230 root, root, root, root. 550 00:29:25,590 --> 00:29:26,690 Let chaos reign. 551 00:29:26,970 --> 00:29:31,030 Yeah, kids, let that negative energy just bubble up from the bottom. Let's do 552 00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:35,630 all together. Bubble up from the bottom. I'm feeling the vapors of hell in my 553 00:29:35,630 --> 00:29:37,210 belly, and I let them out. Yeah. 554 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:42,900 I love you, Medusa Middle School. You guys are the best. You really are, okay? 555 00:29:42,980 --> 00:29:44,340 Test scores are through the roof. 556 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,640 Love you. 557 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:52,020 The cool part about this level of exhaustion is you can't be afraid. I 558 00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:57,860 have a demon pop out of the shadow and try to kill me, and I would use all of 559 00:29:57,860 --> 00:30:00,920 energy to move out of the way totally expressively. 560 00:30:01,220 --> 00:30:05,340 So whatever happens, I am a pliable lump of clay. 561 00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:08,120 You look beautiful, sweetie. 562 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:09,339 So do you. 563 00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:16,000 Oh, they put a bunch of chemical gel on my torso so that I don't sweat. 564 00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:19,080 And that's not a bit. 565 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,840 That's real science. 566 00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:24,120 So who the fuck is this guy? 567 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,640 Jesus. Fresh brewed. I do it at McDonald's temperature. 568 00:30:27,860 --> 00:30:30,800 Who? Green lawsuit. McDonald's? Who? You wouldn't know. He's alive! 569 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,280 Okay. Ogbert? 570 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,140 So salty. 571 00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:35,579 Yeah. Really bad. 572 00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:39,000 It can't be good, and you've drunken so much of it. Yeah. 573 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,120 Name the last time someone was like, let's read poems. 574 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:43,560 A wedding. 575 00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:44,920 Really? Inauguration. 576 00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:47,480 Oh, yeah. To children. A lot of times in books. 577 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,360 Yeah, that's a good point. Well, in this case, it's literal. 578 00:30:52,660 --> 00:30:56,580 What is that? I think if we don't get paid, we all walk out of here. Who's 579 00:30:56,580 --> 00:30:59,500 me? I have my check. No one said yes. 580 00:31:01,770 --> 00:31:06,430 Chomsky's potato chip. America's crispiest, heartiest potato chip. 581 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,740 What up, fam? Katie McHale is coming to you from sunny Miami, Florida. Today we 582 00:31:13,740 --> 00:31:15,660 are talking about smoothies. 583 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:16,739 That's right. 584 00:31:16,740 --> 00:31:20,120 Whip out your blenders because it's time to not only get healthy but have fun 585 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:26,240 doing it. Hey, guys. Katie here talking all about the incredible city of Hanoi. 586 00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:32,800 I am here with my fiancé, Rick. Hi, Rick. And we are so excited to bring all 587 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:37,160 the culture, wonder, and cuisine of this incredible city. Now, this is my first 588 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,440 time traveling abroad. 589 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,640 And let me tell you something. I didn't know that it was different times, 590 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,880 different places in the world. When it's sun somewhere, it's night night 591 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:50,360 somewhere else. So follow me, and I'll talk to you all about balls and how the 592 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,920 world is one. Let's go. 593 00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:53,460 Hi, America. 594 00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:56,640 It's Sunday night football, and Daddy's angry. 595 00:31:56,860 --> 00:32:01,060 He wants a snack, and he wants you to bring it to him. And if he doesn't, who 596 00:32:01,060 --> 00:32:02,060 knows where he'll go? 597 00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:08,320 Chomsky's Potato Chips, America's crispiest, heartiest, tastiest potato 598 00:32:09,110 --> 00:32:10,830 And I said potato chip. 599 00:32:11,050 --> 00:32:12,370 And it's just chip. 600 00:32:13,030 --> 00:32:14,130 It's just chip. 601 00:32:14,930 --> 00:32:16,670 America's heartiest chip. 602 00:32:17,550 --> 00:32:19,830 Chomsky's potato chip. 603 00:32:20,590 --> 00:32:22,030 Chomsky's potato... 604 00:32:22,030 --> 00:32:28,990 Chomsky's 605 00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:29,990 potato chip. 606 00:32:30,010 --> 00:32:31,010 No. 607 00:32:32,190 --> 00:32:35,370 Chomsky's... Crispy's heartiest, tastiest. 608 00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:37,150 Chomsky's potato chip. 609 00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:38,450 America's... 610 00:32:39,679 --> 00:32:42,300 Crispy's, hearty's, tasty's. Crispy's, hearty's, tasty's. 611 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:43,860 Chomsky's potato chips. 612 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:48,620 America's... And now I've got it in my head a different way. 613 00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:51,960 This is a nightmare. 614 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:59,820 I am done. I turned down a job at an 615 00:32:59,820 --> 00:33:02,140 office for this, so... And cut!